If you are thinking about taking a trip to the home of Mickey Mouse for the very first time, then you may have a lot of questions. In this article I attempt to answer several frequently asked questions about this exciting trip.
Disneyland Attractions
You can write enough information about Disneyland attractions to fill an encyclopedia. In fact, Chris Strodder already did exactly that and you can buy his used book for only $0.01 on Amazon. I suggest you do another parent a favor and resell this book for $0.01 on Amazon after you finish your trip.
When is the best time to visit Disneyland?
There are five demographic groups visiting Disneyland all the time. Each demographic group represents 20% of the country. The hotel rates are designed to keep these demographic groups as far away as possible from each other.
You must always know your place and schedule your trip based on your position in the train. Are you in the tail section or are you in the front section? If you don’t know what I mean, then stream the film Snowpiercer right now if you are a Netflix subscriber.
- Less than $20,260
- More than $20,260
- More than $38,515
- More than $62,434
- More than $101,577
The unemployed don’t stay at hotels. They live on the streets, with friends or relatives or lease a cheap property for a few months. They are not tourists. They just like to surf and eat in the same restaurants as the celebrities hoping to get invited by one to a relevant party.
The most beautiful women and men in the entire world live in California. This is the only place in the world where you get paid six figures just for being pretty.
The smartest women and men in the entire world also live in California. There are many places in the world where you get paid seven figures just for being smart, but here you can actually meet a Real RocknRolla.
If you don’t know what that means, then you should not move to California, they will eat you for breakfast.
What’s a RockRolla? The answer to this question is going to cost you at least $2.99 and you can find it right here.
On the other hand, if you are beautiful AND smart then you should definitely move to California if you are not currently making at least $101,577
Hotel rates change every season to accommodate a different class of customer. Find your season.
What to wear to Disneyland?
You must familiarize yourself with the very strict dress code before you pack your bags. You don’t want a megacorporation with its own private military following you around everywhere you go.
First Time At Disneyland Tips
I really think you should invest at least $100 buying these used books on eBay. If you cannot afford to buy any books then you should always check your public library. It is likely that somebody else already went to Disneyland and donated these books after they survived the trip.
- The Unofficial guide to Disneyland 2015
- Birnbaum’s 2015 Disneyland Resort: The Official Guide
- Disneyland’s Hidden Mickeys: A Field Guide to Disneyland Resort’s Best Kept Secrets
- 101 Disneyland Tips: An insider guide full of time-saving advice and lesser-known, can’t-miss experiences
- Seen, Unseen Disneyland: What You See at Disneyland, but Never Really See
- Secrets of Disneyland: Weird and Wonderful Facts about the Happiest Place on Earth
- The Disneyland Story: The Unofficial Guide to the Evolution of Walt Disney’s Dream
Where to eat at Disneyland?
If you are flying to Disneyland then you must never buy your ticket to Anaheim. You must always fly to San Francisco and eat at these restaurants.
These restaurants are two of the best restaurants in the entire world and extremely wealthy people from all over the world fly to San Francisco just to eat there. You may think that these places are extremely expensive and you cannot afford them, but Benu charges a very modest price of just $195 per person which means you should eat there each time you are in San Francisco.
Frequently, millionaires decide to eat there and they pick all the checks which obviously means that your entire family may eat for free if you are lucky.
Always include in your budget at least another two persons if you want to eat there and post an ad on craigslist for a job for a single mom and invite her and her son or daughter to eat with your family. California is currently the third worst State in the United States of America by unemployment rate with 7.2% and we must do what we can to help each other.
If you are driving south from Oregon then you really need to stop to eat at St. Helena and Yuntville. There are very few three star restaurants within California. It is almost impossible to eat there even if you are a millionaire. It does not matter if you are Al Pacino, you cannot just walk in there and get a table. $295 is a very small price to pay if you eating next to Brad Pitt or George Clooney. Please don’t bring your camera to these places. These men and women work extremely hard for you and sometimes they have been in a jungle in Africa or in a desert in Asia for months shooting a film and they are back home only for a few days before they get back to work. Let them eat in peace with their friends and families and if you see me eating there, please don’t ask me about any stocks.
I understand that you can pay for the entire trip to Disneyland with the right financial information at the right time and I really want to help your family but I only have a very limited amount of time to eat. I am always available to new clients by phone or email, though.
Plan your trip and reserve your table a few months in advance and you’ll be fine.
How much does it cost to go to Disneyland?
Divide one of the five numbers displayed earlier between 365 or 366 and multiply that for the number of days you are going to be in Anaheim.
For example, if you are a middle class worker currently making more than $38,515 then you can only spend $105 per day and if your trip lasts two weeks then you only need $1,470
VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: You can spend more than the rest of your peers and remain in the same demographic group for the rest of your life or you can only spend what you are supposed to spend and invest more in the stock markets and eventually be promoted to the next economic level.
The Walt Disney Company (DIS) is currently the third most profitable broadcasting and cable company in the entire world with annual profits of at least $6.6 billion behind Comcast (CMCSA, CMCSK) with annual profits of $6.8 billion and Liberty Media (LMCA, LMCB, LMCK) with annual profits of $8.8 billion and one of the ways to increase annual profits by $200 million is to open a new park near you.
They opened one in Tokyo in 1983, another one in Paris in 1992, another one in Hong Kong in 2005 and they are currently building a new one in Shanghai and it will be finished in 2016.
You don’t need to be an expert in finance to understand that this new park is going to be visited by more people than Disneyland and if you buy a few shares in The Walt Disney Company every month, then you will make enough money to travel to Disneyland for free once a year for the rest of your life.
It’s not a bad idea to hire someone like me to manage your shares in The Walt Disney Company, Comcast, Liberty Media and other publicly traded companies.
Every child in the world should visit each of these parks at least once.
Perhaps billionaire Elon Musk will make it easier to move billions of people from all over the world to these parks, after he finishes building the Hyperloop but that is a topic for another day.
